best christmas because of u

i cannot believe christmas is almost over...but i'd have to say this is one of the best christmas i've ever had because i was able to spend it with u. i was so happie to see you. at first i was a little disappointed but when you called and sed you were outside, i was supper happie. also the fact that u got me white hot chocolate too :) i am very happie that we went back to the cemetery together. it was beautiful. i loved it. how we walked in the snow was like the dream i had a while ago. in the dream u were holdin my hand, and i walked behind you, following ur footsteps, for footprints. i forgot i had that dream til today. i was also reallie happie that we danced to the two songs that has so much meaning to our relationship. it was like...we'd gone back to how our relationship started...those emotions, those feelings, that passion. i am happie that we are starting a break with good memories, in good terms. That makes it easier to go by. it gives me the courage, the strength to want to do better. it gives me even more the reason to want the best for both of us because i treasure u and cherish u.

even if later on we find out that we are not meant to be i'd still be able to be good friends with u. i dun have any regrets. of course i'd want to be with u for the rest of my life...but if we are not meant to be, i still want to see you happie with whoever it may be in the future because i love you this much. i want to see u happie, be blessed. i am afraid of losing you, but i want u to have the best. i cherish u, patrick.

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you.


u've made my wish come true :)

wishes, looking forward to

there are so many things i still want to do with you...whether later on we are together or just friends. there are so many things we talk about doing and things i want to do with u...and hopefully one day we will be able to do them together. i reallie hope so.

-metro zoo
-biking
-star gazing on the beach
-hot tubing
-working out
-comic book
-cd with ur music, my design
-graffitified your name
-draw out kaypee
-visit our first date together

i want to be able to grow a tree with u...it's sth my parents did together. i dunno why i reallie want to...i guess because it was sth that marked that relationship...sth they did together. as they go back this time, they are visiting the tree and see how it is now...i want to be able to do the same...years from now to be able to remember the good times we had. too bad it's winter now...

one of my christmas wish came true this year. as we were on break, ppl asked what i want for christmas this year. there reallie isnt anything materialistic that i want. but i asked God, told God that it'd be nice if i could spend christmas with you. i prayed and asked, but i didnt expect it to happen. but im glad at least i am able to talk with u now and know that u are here. i thnk God for hearing me. i reallie want to be able to look at u in the eyes and say merry christmas to u. i dunno...i just want to grasp and treasure all the moment i can have with u..because no one knows what the future is gonna be like...how it will turn out. i want to have the best christmas with u.

loving a person should be unconditional.

it's patient..patient in your character, patient in your words and your actions

it's not envy..not envy about you spending more time with ur buddies and activities...it's not comparison

it doesn't boast...i shouldnt say things or do things that make myself seem better or overpowering you

it's not self seeking...it's not about me...it's about you

it is not easily angered...it's being careful with my thoughts, words and actions..it's not letting my emotions hurting the other person

it keeps no record of wrongs...i need to forgive no matter what it is, how much it hurted me or how much it affected me

it does not delight in evil but rejoice with truth...i need to do what is right

it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres...it keeps going no matter how hard or difficult it is ahead

love never fails


it never fails. there's so much to learn from in there...i don't think im even close..there are things i do better than others..but there's still a lot i need to learn.

i believe when i can love like that.. i will not make u mad or upset or disappoint u because it's unconditional..i will not expect sth in return. it seems it's far beyond reach...but i will get there as i keep working on it.

with the lights down low, the illuminated sky reflects the fresh glistening snow on the ground. a rich mellow saxophone leading the steps of the snowflakes in their graceful moves as they gently fall onto the ground...tree sways with the melody of the heart. a melody full of sentimental emotions swell up like a gust of cold wind. it's sharp, it's strong. it penetrates. it seeks, it yearns, it desires. a heart so fragile that cannot be frightened by the devouring wind...so fragile yet so beautiful, so beautiful like a broken vase that shines from within. in a frightful night it stands. it stands not because it's strong but it is cherished. in the sharp wind, it finds warm.

after a little whileee, im posting again. haha. it's been a while since i last post because i have been drawing manga and paying more attention to that rather than blogging. Now that I've become more aware of illustrations and anime, i appreciate their work a lot more. I'd have to say those people are really creative and detail oriented...and observant. From spark in the eyes to the shape of the way the fingers bend...it's all meticulously drawn. I wouldn't say im passionate in this area yet, but I definitely like it a lot. It amazesss me.

just now, i've looked into the different galleries...mann...there arent any exciting events this time of the year...kinda sucks. i was hoping i would be able to find sth interesting to go to. but i guess not. next time!

"you are not define by your giftings". That phrase stood out to me as I listen to Pastor Jude's message called "become". Our short term mission can be related to our giftings, but out long term mission is becoming a worshipper of God. Then i started thinking....what is a worshipper? it reminds me to King David, an undignified, undone worshipper. I believe a worshipper is someone who looks at God in awe whether it's good or bad, a worshipper is humble. a worshipper is filled with joy and thankfulness. as i evaluate myself, i start to think that im not reallie an "all-time" worshipper. there were so many times when i should have gave thanks, but i didn't....what kinda worshipper am i?

it was such a rainy day. when i was on the street car going home, my mom called and asked if i wanna ride from sheppard station. awww yayy :) it was goood. i didnt have to be all soaked!

aiyoh...my tummy is huge again...well...not huge..but just big enough that it bothers me :P gonna do some situps after this.

today an argument between a few designers and the production head started because of sth i did...again. what happened was, there was a full pack that i had to roll out earlier last week, and the file is HUGE, so all i had to do was to build it in low rez, and then send it to the printer with callouts saying what needs to be done. It turned out that they need a high rez image of the frost. but we don't have it because it was done in low rez. so i asked bri and robyn to help me out to see what i should do about it. they suggested to find sth similar to what i had...which it makes sense, because what I'd done in low rez was only a guide anyways. So i called the account manger and let her know the situation and she was cool. but then later....the production head came over and started telling me that i have to rebuild the whole file so that the printers would know exactly what they need to do. I was shocked...coz i mean...it's just putting frost around the pack..how hard can it be? why do i need to rebuild it? So while this whole convo was going on between production head and I, Bri and Robyn came over and told the production head that we've discussed issues like that during the design meeting and the creative director had said that we only need to art direct in a situation like this, and don't need to do the physical work. The production head got pretty pissed...and he said he needs to talk to the creative director. After that, we went back to our desks, and the production head disappeared. i don't think i did anything wrong...but man...why does it have to be me that's in a sticky situation again. It's making me nervy especially when the review is this week and next week. *pouts

in some ways it's kinda cool that we, the designers kinda have each other's back. im just thinking...i was trying to voice my opinion and tell the production head that i shouldnt be doing it..but he didnt listen...but when bri and robyn spoke up, he couldn't say anything. i guess next time i will need to use the creative director's name. haha

just now, my mom wanted to order more body shop alike products online because she got them in buffalo and would want to get some more. after doing a 40mins online shopping and picking...it turned out that it doesnt ship to canada. BOOOO. tooooo bad. haha