Saturday, January 26, 2008

i've found a place and probably be moving in next weekend. i cant say i am excited about it. it's such a big change...so many things i need to adapt to...so many things i have to take care of myself. i know i have friends and bros & sis who will be helping me...but mentally, emotionally...i am drained...so drained. i have so many things on my mind...i dun even know where to begin. finding a place wasnt hard...but now telling my mom about it is the most difficult part. i dunno how to or what to say. as i am typing this, i feel a knot in my stomach and literally feel my stomach cramp coming. prayers, encouragements help...but i am still the one facing it...i still need to face her reaction. it may not be as bad as i think it will be...but in this case...it's better to be prepared for what could happen.

im moving the necessities to my dad's office tm morning, just in case my mom goes insane on me when i tell her about it and stop me from moving.

i am scared...i reallie am. but if i dun step out of it i will always be in this kind of environment and i will be more and more like my mom without realizing it.

i am glad i saw u the other day and was able to tell u about it. i felt better after telling you about it. knowing that i have your support keeps me stronger. i wish u would be here, but i guess it's not possible because of the break...but i know u are praying for me. i need all the prayers that u can offer.

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