Tuesday, December 25, 2007

best christmas because of u

i cannot believe christmas is almost over...but i'd have to say this is one of the best christmas i've ever had because i was able to spend it with u. i was so happie to see you. at first i was a little disappointed but when you called and sed you were outside, i was supper happie. also the fact that u got me white hot chocolate too :) i am very happie that we went back to the cemetery together. it was beautiful. i loved it. how we walked in the snow was like the dream i had a while ago. in the dream u were holdin my hand, and i walked behind you, following ur footsteps, for footprints. i forgot i had that dream til today. i was also reallie happie that we danced to the two songs that has so much meaning to our relationship. it was like...we'd gone back to how our relationship started...those emotions, those feelings, that passion. i am happie that we are starting a break with good memories, in good terms. That makes it easier to go by. it gives me the courage, the strength to want to do better. it gives me even more the reason to want the best for both of us because i treasure u and cherish u.

even if later on we find out that we are not meant to be i'd still be able to be good friends with u. i dun have any regrets. of course i'd want to be with u for the rest of my life...but if we are not meant to be, i still want to see you happie with whoever it may be in the future because i love you this much. i want to see u happie, be blessed. i am afraid of losing you, but i want u to have the best. i cherish u, patrick.

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you.

u've made my wish come true :)

wishes, looking forward to

there are so many things i still want to do with you...whether later on we are together or just friends. there are so many things we talk about doing and things i want to do with u...and hopefully one day we will be able to do them together. i reallie hope so.

-metro zoo
-star gazing on the beach
-hot tubing
-working out
-comic book
-cd with ur music, my design
-graffitified your name
-draw out kaypee
-visit our first date together

i want to be able to grow a tree with u...it's sth my parents did together. i dunno why i reallie want to...i guess because it was sth that marked that relationship...sth they did together. as they go back this time, they are visiting the tree and see how it is now...i want to be able to do the same...years from now to be able to remember the good times we had. too bad it's winter now...

one of my christmas wish came true this year. as we were on break, ppl asked what i want for christmas this year. there reallie isnt anything materialistic that i want. but i asked God, told God that it'd be nice if i could spend christmas with you. i prayed and asked, but i didnt expect it to happen. but im glad at least i am able to talk with u now and know that u are here. i thnk God for hearing me. i reallie want to be able to look at u in the eyes and say merry christmas to u. i dunno...i just want to grasp and treasure all the moment i can have with u..because no one knows what the future is gonna be like...how it will turn out. i want to have the best christmas with u.

Monday, December 17, 2007

loving a person should be unconditional.

it's patient..patient in your character, patient in your words and your actions

it's not envy..not envy about you spending more time with ur buddies and activities...it's not comparison

it doesn't boast...i shouldnt say things or do things that make myself seem better or overpowering you

it's not self seeking...it's not about me...it's about you

it is not easily angered...it's being careful with my thoughts, words and actions..it's not letting my emotions hurting the other person

it keeps no record of wrongs...i need to forgive no matter what it is, how much it hurted me or how much it affected me

it does not delight in evil but rejoice with truth...i need to do what is right

it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres...it keeps going no matter how hard or difficult it is ahead

love never fails

it never fails. there's so much to learn from in there...i don't think im even close..there are things i do better than others..but there's still a lot i need to learn.

i believe when i can love like that.. i will not make u mad or upset or disappoint u because it's unconditional..i will not expect sth in return. it seems it's far beyond reach...but i will get there as i keep working on it.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

with the lights down low, the illuminated sky reflects the fresh glistening snow on the ground. a rich mellow saxophone leading the steps of the snowflakes in their graceful moves as they gently fall onto the ground...tree sways with the melody of the heart. a melody full of sentimental emotions swell up like a gust of cold wind. it's sharp, it's strong. it penetrates. it seeks, it yearns, it desires. a heart so fragile that cannot be frightened by the devouring wind...so fragile yet so beautiful, so beautiful like a broken vase that shines from within. in a frightful night it stands. it stands not because it's strong but it is cherished. in the sharp wind, it finds warm.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

after a little whileee, im posting again. haha. it's been a while since i last post because i have been drawing manga and paying more attention to that rather than blogging. Now that I've become more aware of illustrations and anime, i appreciate their work a lot more. I'd have to say those people are really creative and detail oriented...and observant. From spark in the eyes to the shape of the way the fingers bend...it's all meticulously drawn. I wouldn't say im passionate in this area yet, but I definitely like it a lot. It amazesss me.

just now, i've looked into the different galleries...mann...there arent any exciting events this time of the year...kinda sucks. i was hoping i would be able to find sth interesting to go to. but i guess not. next time!

Friday, November 30, 2007

"you are not define by your giftings". That phrase stood out to me as I listen to Pastor Jude's message called "become". Our short term mission can be related to our giftings, but out long term mission is becoming a worshipper of God. Then i started thinking....what is a worshipper? it reminds me to King David, an undignified, undone worshipper. I believe a worshipper is someone who looks at God in awe whether it's good or bad, a worshipper is humble. a worshipper is filled with joy and thankfulness. as i evaluate myself, i start to think that im not reallie an "all-time" worshipper. there were so many times when i should have gave thanks, but i didn't....what kinda worshipper am i?

Monday, November 26, 2007

it was such a rainy day. when i was on the street car going home, my mom called and asked if i wanna ride from sheppard station. awww yayy :) it was goood. i didnt have to be all soaked!

aiyoh...my tummy is huge again...well...not huge..but just big enough that it bothers me :P gonna do some situps after this.

today an argument between a few designers and the production head started because of sth i did...again. what happened was, there was a full pack that i had to roll out earlier last week, and the file is HUGE, so all i had to do was to build it in low rez, and then send it to the printer with callouts saying what needs to be done. It turned out that they need a high rez image of the frost. but we don't have it because it was done in low rez. so i asked bri and robyn to help me out to see what i should do about it. they suggested to find sth similar to what i had...which it makes sense, because what I'd done in low rez was only a guide anyways. So i called the account manger and let her know the situation and she was cool. but then later....the production head came over and started telling me that i have to rebuild the whole file so that the printers would know exactly what they need to do. I was shocked...coz i mean...it's just putting frost around the pack..how hard can it be? why do i need to rebuild it? So while this whole convo was going on between production head and I, Bri and Robyn came over and told the production head that we've discussed issues like that during the design meeting and the creative director had said that we only need to art direct in a situation like this, and don't need to do the physical work. The production head got pretty pissed...and he said he needs to talk to the creative director. After that, we went back to our desks, and the production head disappeared. i don't think i did anything wrong...but man...why does it have to be me that's in a sticky situation again. It's making me nervy especially when the review is this week and next week. *pouts

in some ways it's kinda cool that we, the designers kinda have each other's back. im just thinking...i was trying to voice my opinion and tell the production head that i shouldnt be doing it..but he didnt listen...but when bri and robyn spoke up, he couldn't say anything. i guess next time i will need to use the creative director's name. haha

just now, my mom wanted to order more body shop alike products online because she got them in buffalo and would want to get some more. after doing a 40mins online shopping and picking...it turned out that it doesnt ship to canada. BOOOO. tooooo bad. haha

Sunday, November 25, 2007

my parents are backkk from buffalo shopping! man...did they get a lot of stuff...when i open the car door, it scared meee....it was like...almost of full van of stuff. haha didnt get too much for me, but it's ok, i got quite a bit this weekend too :P i actually took some advice from a fashion designer gonna be about a week ago as to what kinda clothes would look good on me. Remember the blue sweater i got? (called a tunic), she suggested that i should get sth like that, with leggings. i saw her today again during dinner and told her that i took her advice. she was really happy to hear that. she's someone who have really low self-esteem, so that's what i wanna tell her that im taking her advice. hopefully it will make her feel more confident about herself :)

neways, i want to say it was really nice of u to get me that little converse :) it was really sweet. it's not so much that it's a converse (even tho it is beautiful!), but that u thot of me even tho we werent in the best terms. that made my heart melt. i showed it to my brother, and he asked how come it's not a green one. and i told him i don't care, it's the thought that counts. it didnt feel nice at all when we didn't really talk while waiting for the bus. but when i think about it now, it made me giggle, coz u looked so mo loi and didn't know what to do. ..but then u still thought of me. i don't know...as odd as it sounds, that is sweet.

can i tell u again that i love being in your arms?

Saturday, November 24, 2007

better is today :)

it's such a beautiful morning, just like how i'd like to have on a saturday morning. im looking out the window, with the sun gently shinning on my face, glistening white snow on every roof top...with some good tunes playing on my itunes. ohh, and 2 red cardinals chasing each other on the tree. it's a beautiful morning :) it makes me feel especially good. 2 houses down, there's a bird feeder and a flock of sparrows are there, nibbing away. it reminds me of His faithfulness, how he even take care of the sparrows, which are less significant than i am. im much more precious to him, He will look after me.

i like mornings. it's a new day, it's another opportunity to have a better day.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

just a little thot before first snowfall

winter is cominggg. it's snowinggggg. i like it :) i especially like it when i wake up in the morning and it's all white outside. it looks so pretty when it glistens under the sun. it makes me happy when i see that. can u believe it? christmas is coming soon, sooner than i am anticipating. just now, i wanted to listen to "all i want for christmas is you". it's such a nice song. now the song is even more meaningful :) haha im thinkin so far ahead already.

what do you think of when you think about winter? the first thing that'd come to my mind is..of course snow, but beautiful snow, snow flakes, white hot chocolate, snuggling in bed, laughter....just to name a few.

Monday, November 19, 2007

parents' 25th anniversary

today was my parents' 25th anniversary. counting back, my parents got married when they were 25, 24 and had me when they were 28, 27! that's prettty youngg. it's nice to see them happy tonite :) we went to spring villa for dinner. it was goood. we had shark fins. we took lots of pics for rememberance of this day! when we got home, i got the cake and the music ready while my mom was upstairs in her room puttin the final touches to the gift she gonna give to my dad. one of the songs on the album i gave them was "the wedding march". haha it was funny. my dad and i were like..ok ok , play the music when mom comes down. so my dad was waiting for her on the stairs and me by the cd player. so as soon as she approached to my dad, i played the wedding march, while my dad escorted my mom down the hallway. haha it was like another wedding. it was cute :) afterwards, before we ate the cake, my mom wanted to sing a song to my dad. it was the song my dad dedicated to my mom when they were dating. my dad wrote the lyrics onto a card and gave it to my mom when they started going out. it was the first "love letter" my dad wrote for my mom. at first my mom was singing on her own, then afterwards we joined in with guitar and piano. it was awesome! hehe. my dad kept saying to my bro "aiyohh, that's not how u play it" and took the guitar and started playing it the oldie bom chat chat way. it was kinda out of tune, but it was sweet :)
there wasnt really a big celebration like how some ppl would...no huge parties. just a the family, just one another and a sweet little song, a little cake, but lots of love :)

There's a new world somewhere
They call The Promised Land
And I'll be there some day
If you will hold my hand
I still need you there beside me
No matter what I do
For I know I'll never find another you

There is always someone
For each of us they say
And you'll be my someone
For ever and a day
I could search the whole world over
Until my life is through
But I know I'll never find another you

It's a long, long journey
So stay by my side
When I walk through the storm
You'll be my guide, be my guide

If they gave me a fortune
My treasure would be small
I could lose it all tomorrow
And never mind at all
But if I should lose your love, dear
I don't know what I'll do
For I know I'll never find another you

that reminds me of the first song u sent me. i dun think i'll ever forget.

I'll love you when you hair turns gray, girl
I'll still want you if you gain a little weight, yeah
the way i feel for you will always be the same
Just as long as your love dont change


Friday, November 16, 2007

im not gonna talk about work nemore...it's enough for one day. we've prayed, i've prayed. now God, it's in Your hands. I know You will make everything according to Your plan. Teach me to trust in You.

it was nice to see you after work today. i needed a hug and im glad you were there to hold me. i had a great time today, did you? haha especially when we were at leslie station waiting for your bus. i couldnt stop laughing...hahah prolly looked like an idiot, but whatever, it was fun :P haha it was a good laugh. i liked how we were, just laffing away. i dont know... i find that i like today a lot. i cant reallie pinpoint what made it different. do you feel anything different?

tonite before i went for practice, i had a bit of time, so i went decided to go to timmie's to grab a hot chocolate, so i called mike if he wanted one and asked him to call uncle KY and ru to see if they want anything. i decided to treat them some hot drinks, and timbits instead of getting them to pay. so the 2 of us got french vanilla and got timbits for ru and her siblings. it was a good way to bless them :) i felt all warm and fuzzy after, better than a hot drink in a cold nite like this :)

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

i did some budgeting tonite. i think in a few months, i can increase my loan payment. It's good to have these figures thought out instead of just kinda doing an "estimate" in my head when im not so great with math in the first place :P Now i have a clear outline as to how much i can only spend so that it can cover the loan. i like it. it will make me be more disciplined and cautious of how much im spending and saving. starting next month, im gonna go with this budgeting plan. This is a good idea. thanks :)

tonite while i was teaching art, vanessa called and sed ariane's pinky shattered...im not exactly sure how it happened, but i couldnt stay on the phone for too long, so we quickly prayed for her and reminded vanessa that it's a good opportunity to show kindness to ariane right now. when vanessa told me about ariane's finger...i felt uneasy. last week ariane was supposed to join us for bbt then go to church...but she got into trouble. now this week, sth like this happened...when we've rescheduled the date to this sat. i pray that God will protect her and confuse the enemy if he's planning any schemes or attack. I'm kinda bothered by this...can u please pray for ariane whenever u remember her?

on a happier note, i wanted to post this last nite, but i couldn't remember what it was. i remembered what it wanted to say when we were talking about waiting. i wanted to say that i really appreciate you wanting to be earlier than me so i dont have to wait for u. I did notice it before, but yesterday stood out to me when i saw u standing there, looking all ready to get going kinda look. i didnt know you ran. i thought sth was odd in the way u were standing, but i didnt know what it was until you told me you ran down so that i didnt have to wait for u. wow... :) that really melts my heart. i didnt know how much effort u wanna put in in not wanting me to wait. that is really sweet. if u hadnt told me, i wouldnt have known. thank u :) but next time even if ur running late, don't run ok? it's ok for me to wait. i know u woodnt purposely be late. sometimes it will give me the chance to stand there and search for that familiar in the crowd :)

i think i mite go to bed soon, im quite tired. hope u had a greattt time at the game tonite even thought raptors lost again. :P

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. work was stressful. i was talking to Heather about it...how there were so many interruptions in between. she would hate it if she was in my position. yah i didnt like it either. but when i told you about it, it was very encouraging. instead of complaining about it, i should take it as an opportunity. thanks :)

i was happy to see you tonite. it was reallie nice to be able to spend some time with you. Honestly, before you told me that u miss meetin up...i was missing it a lot already. not really about meeting up..but i missed u in general. i don't know..lately i feel like u are different. u are more open with ur emotions and let me see that side of u. it makes me feel nice knowing how you are feeling. i like that. i really do. i feel like we are back to a year and a half ago where we were so...sweet in the way we appreciate each other and care about each other. i enjoy feeling like this again. i reallie do.

Monday, November 12, 2007


tonite i overheard my mom telling my dad how she thinks that im "gwai" because i've been helping out. i was a little surprised to hear that...coz i was thinking..."werent i always like that?" but i guess not. then i started thinking how i've been behaving lately. i think it's the attitude. when i think about it now, i feel "joyful" to help around. i feel joyful..so i prolly do sound happier too.

there was this family that asked if they could come over to shower because there's no water at their house due to construction. after my mom told me about this, i offered to let them use my washroom because i've just cleaned it on sat, so it's clean for them to use. then my mom told me that when she sed the same thing to my bro, he reacted kinda negative about it. then i thought to myself...normally i would have reacted the same way my bro did...be kinda like "why? why my washroom?" but not this time.

i feel good about these two incidents. it makes me feel like im being changed without me even realizing it, which is great! :) i'm happy.

and i hope/pray that bri-anne feel that im different because of God's love. i want to be able to reach out to her. today was a good start with the chocolate. thank youuu for encouraging me to do so. :)

i was reading kinda interesting earlier. here it is:
"If the apostle Paul needed to pray for more boldness, how much more do we? I've always found it very easy to lift up Jesus in the context of church but very hard to find opportunities-and take them-outside. Putting it bluntly, I can be a complete coward! At the age of 16, I used to wear a cross lapel badge on my school uniform. If im honest, i think i was pretty proud of myself; that is, until the day i applied for a saturday job at my local bike store. just before the interview i took the badge off, hiding it away in my pocket-just in case wearing it would ruin my chances of getting the job. in the middle of the interview i suddenly realized what i'd done, and i felt so ashamed. there i sat with the cross in my pocket, wondering how i could ever be embarrassed by what Jesus had done for me.
the only other job i've ever had is working for the church, and of course i had been a lot keener to wear my cross badge for that interview! but isnt that what many of us are like? we'll carry the cross high at church and then hide it away in our pockets when we go out into the rest of life. i learned a lesson that day. i need to line up with the apostle Paul for some more Holy Spirit boldness. if i cant even carry a little cross lapel badge, how on earth am i going to manage a real one?"

i was thinking to myself...do i hide my cross? it's soooo much easier to hide it than to show it. but why is it so hard? i mean...ppl can feel so strongly about certain things and not be ashamed of it...but why are we when there's nothing wrong with it? shouldnt it be the other way around? an example i thought of just now is...i remember back in high school, ppl would talk and "share" about the different ways to cheat on a test. that's such a shameful thing! but .... it's so easy to talk about it with other ppl and not feel "bad" about it. u know what i mean? i dont know..for myself..i feel shy about telling other ppl about my faith...hmm that's sth to think about.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

i drove down to work today...and guess what? the glass door to my building was locked...i had to ask bri to help me unlock the dooor. i felt so bad...coz she had to drive all the way to anthem... it was very nice of her.

when i got in, i felt so bummy coz i had to work on a sunday. so i made myself some coffee and started working. i wanted to just finish everything FAST and leave. i guess the only way to make it more homey was to take off my shoes and play some nice tuness. when i saw u msg me, i was excited :D. coz i wanted to talk with u. it was sooo nice to have u there to keep me company. hehe :) and i really appreciate u being there the whole time. it made my working time go by a lot faster and not bummy :) u were really really sweet. i felt soo loved :) hehe. as i think about u being there makes me smile.

when i got home, i logged onto facebook and saw "a new notice" and i clicked on it. it sed patrick had sent me a free gift. i was like :O???? a gift? huh? really??? so i went to my profile and scrolled really face to the bottom, and i saw a cup of coffee with "patrick" underneath it. i was giggling so much. hehe. it was such a nice surprise. i wish u were there to see me smile. hehe. ur awesome, u know that?

i felt like a little princess today. all the things u did i really appreciate :) it's so special to me. ur so special to me :)

Saturday, November 10, 2007

the thought of going to work tm already makes me tired...i dont wanna be stuck in the studio on a sunday T_T so sad.

i dreamt of u last night. I still cant remember what it was about...but it had sth to do with food and u. haha. what a good combination :P both things make me happie. i wish i remember more, so i can tell u what it's about.

hmm i wonder where you are right now. hope ur having fun doing whatever u're doing!

Friday, November 9, 2007

i dont feel like im myself today. im not in the greatest mood and i dont seem happy. my face feels super hot like im blushing. maybe im sick? but i dont feel sick...i dont know. i just dont feel right. wat's going on? i feel like im staring into space.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

rabbit and the snake

i was thinking about the video you showed me last night of the rabbit and the snake. You know what? it reminded me of your dream. "sin is crouching at your door but you must master it". The way i see it is the snake is the enemy and the rabbit is you and i. it is surprising that the rabbit would react that way - bit the snake. But i think this relates to the latter part of the verse - "you must master it". the rabbit may seem like a gentle, vulnerable creature, but it can win over the snake. it can scared the snake away. i don't know how this thought came to being..but it's kinda interesting.

aaronson's quit art...well...his mom called and said aaronson is refusing to come to art class or do the hmk i gave him. o wells. if he's interested later then we'll see again.

i was very "sum but joy yeen" tonite. as i was cutting the green onion, i was supposed to cut it the way it's for steamed fish..but i but it into small bits instead...and didnt realize it til i finish cutting half of it. then my mom asked me to put the cover over the pot, and i put it over the pan that's boiling hot water for the fish. when it was time to set the table, i brought out 4 sets of utensils instead of 3 because bro still had class. maybe im tired? im not sure...am i worrying about sth subconsciously? hmmm...

winter's cominggggggg! so coldddd.....i dont like it so cold....but i guess on the brighter side is i can drink more white chocolate :) ahhhh! oiiiishhhii :) hehe

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

intimacy and the king of self?

at the beginning of a romantic relationship, we'd want to do whatever the other person likes even though it may sometimes be out of our way or sometimes not something that we'd normally do. We'd offer up our time, offer up our energy just so that we can see a smile on his/her face. We'd want to give them the best that we can do...or we may even take a step further in learning something that we didn't know how to do (ahemm like making the paper box my ring). But somewhere along that romantic journey, we become tired or comfortable with the way things are. Once the couple is married, they can become so comfortable with each other that they don't have that romantic attraction they once had. I know it's true for a lot of the couples I see. Often enough, they take each other for granted because they know the other person will be there. Sad isn't it?

This is the same with our relationship with God. At first we may want to find time, give Him our best because we are in love with Him. But as time goes on, we become comfortable. We expect God will still be there no matter what...we begin to think that the talents and the victories we have are a given...we begin to look at ourself and think that it's no longer God who's the one who brought us through..but we did it ourselves. After a while, we begin to step onto His throne and push God out of our way...and then... we may even sit on the throne ourselves and become our own king - king of self.

That's what happened to King Uzziah. At the beginning, he had an intimate relationship with God. He consulted God on everything. He made sure he'd meet God at the "candle light" table and listen to what is in God's heart. After a while, pride set in...and he began to think it was himself who is able. He spent less and less time having a "candle light dinner" with the Lord. Long story short, God strike him with leprosy. Ever since, he was abandoned in solitude. He still had the giftings and the talents God gave him, but the anointing was no longer there anymore. What is anointing? It's the presence of God.

When the king of self rules, the anointing leaves even though the giftings are there. I find it really scary. I'd rather have God take away the giftings and talents as well when the king of self rules...at least I'd know that God's not there with me anymore. We may still think that God is there when He really isn't....and not knowing that, we'd just be doing what we are in vain. It's a good reminder for me...what I am doing now, in all the ministries I am in or even at work. Do I do it because I want to bring glory to myself or do I really do it with a humble heart?

Monday, November 5, 2007


it was really nice to be able to ride home with you tonite. to top it all, u got me white chocolate :) it was a really nice surprise. i don't know why i felt kinda shy around you today. it seemed sth was different. i felt like a princess when u held me really tight while i drank my white chocolate. it was really nice to snuggle in your arms. hehe. i wouldnt trade anything for that.

we know what we have is real
like the presence of the wind
we lasted through the good
and bad times, sad times
even though we could have let go
we stayed close
we lasted through the good
and bad times, sad times
through patience we have been able to see that our love


Sunday, November 4, 2007

wonderful weekend

the conference was awesomee. even though it's a PAOC conference..but it's kinda different from the YC we go yearly. It's quite intense. there wasn't much free time other than lunch and dinner. the rest of the time was workshops and the main sessions. it was kinda cool that we made friends with another church. that church is near donmills and lawrence. we've asked them to join us for the christmas party! it's gonna be fun :)

ff shared in a workshop about marketing, and how to use christian products to reach out to ppl. she brought the waterbottle which amy and i worked together to the conference to use as one of the tools. at the end of the workshop, ff was talking with a lady pastor while 2 girls waited patiently for her. the girls wanted to buy the bottles! i was sooo blessed to hear that they stayed behind just so they could get the bottles. at the end, ff just gave it to them to bless them. it was neat! :)

on the ride home, all of us were sooo tired so we slept in the car. i was excited to be back in T.O and see familiar faces again. we were asked to share last night with the youth group what's blessed us during the conference. i don't know why i didnt really feel nervous to go up to share. it was weird. i was actually excited to. my heart was literally pounding..not because i was scared to speak infront of everyone..but because i had so much i wanted to say! haha. i think if there was only one thing to get out of the conference would be this phrase: " if satan tries to remind you and condemn you of your past, remind him of his future". isnt it so true? i've never thought of it that way.

it's so wonderful when we have differences in our opinions but are able to talk it out and work it out. it's even more wonderful when we try to understand each other and accommodate each other's preferences. i like having talks with you like that.

i was thinking what happened last night could have turned into a fight if we didnt try to understand each other or talk. do you feel that we are closer? i do. i hope you do too.

there was a season i felt like there was no hope in this relationship. i was really down about it. i cried and prayed so much. it was difficult. i didnt want to tell you about it...as a matter of fact, i didnt want to talk to anyone about it. but that's passed...and im glad we are better now. i look back now and see that we've gone through a lot...yet we are still here together. it's encouraging to see that and to be able to say that. i know this is sappy...but i want u to know u are important to me. i hope you feel the same too.

Friday, November 2, 2007

a little note til i see u on sat!

mushi mushiii

hehe. just thought i'd blog before i head out to bellevue for the conference :) it looks like to be a beautiful day today and im GLAD i dont have work ANDD can be out of town this weekend. i didnt sleep too well last nite, but o well. i'll see if i can catch some sleep on the ride there :P

haha im talking to u on msn right now, soooo i aint able to spend as much time as would have liked to on blog :P but that's ok right? i'd rather talk to u :)

i hope u have a great time bballing tonite :) i'll tell u all about it on sat :)

btw, read ur sunday school stuff! >.>


Thursday, November 1, 2007

bloooogggging one just for you :P

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

halloween...most of the ppl from work were all dressed up. i've decided not to celebrate and going even more "extreme"-i fasted from my normal full course meal. it wasnt easy staying in the studio, while the whole studio was partying up. i felt very uncomfortable, outcast, leftout. but i felt that i should stay and take a stand..and i did.

i feel tired, not exactly physically... but i feel drained... i guess coz there was a lot going on?

im kinda looking forward to tm, coz it'll be my last day of work for the week! no work on fridayyy..wooowhooo.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

my ride to work

it was a longgggg morning. ttc sucks. like seriously. by the time i got to work today was already 9:30..and i had to post things on FTP, listen to voice mail, talk to the account manager, this and that...i felt so disoriented because what i had planned to do were all pushed back. I don't like it when that happens. But despite all that, it was nice to get a call from you asking me if everything was ok. it was a nice surprise...it got me smiling to hear your voice on the other end of the receiver.

a lot of my colleagues are talking about/busy getting ready for their halloween costume for tm's party. When they ask me if im dressing up, i told them im not and told them i choose not to because of my religion. it may seem like an easy thing to say..but it's not really, when the party is gonna be tm during lunch. Almost everyone's gonna dress up because Halloween's always been a huge thing here at Anthem. What am i gonna do tm during lunch? im not so sure yet. should i work through it? join them for lunch since it's in the studio but not dress up? step out during lunch? i don't know. What i know is im not gonna be celebrating it.

Monday, October 29, 2007

our Love

baby, listen to my heart
and the words that live within
we know what we have is real
like the presence of the wind
we lasted through the good
and bad times, sad times
even though we could have let go
we stayed close
we lasted through the good
and bad times, sad times
through patience we have been able to see that our love

our love
what we have
is nothing but the good life baby
nothing but the good life baby

lady after all these years
i'm still ravished by your love
mistakes i've made for years
still you cover me with love

i just wanna stay so close
wrap your arms around me
i don't wanna let you go
let your love surround me
i just wanna stay so close
wrap your arms around me
i dont wanna let you go
i dont wanna let you go

Sunday, October 28, 2007

lets face it

ha..it's such a simple concept..but it took a while to sink in. The cure for my fears is to face it. The worse i feel about something, the more i should embrace it and make the situation better. the more i dislike a person, the most i should make an effort to be friend him/her. it's awkward, it's tiring, but i believe i will be better one step at a time.

it's true that it's my character that will imprint onto ppl's mind when it's time for me to go. What kind of character do i have? i was thinking about christmas awards that we do every year. each year i'd get sth that defines me on the outside..like im most fashionable, best artist. i know it's a silly award and shouldnt use that to define who i am, but it would be a nice change if im not voted for those things, but ppl do see that i am loving and caring.

today for the 10am meeting, the congregation (including me) was seated down at our pews and waited on the Lord. Just a quiet time between God and ourselves. as i was sitting there, i felt that i should read lamentation. i didnt know where, so i just started reading from chapter 1. after a little bit, pastor asked the worship to get ready. as i was sittin there by the piano, guess where pastor shared from? lamentation chapter 3. i was like :O?!?!? lamentation??? coz i mean..if it's from matthew or one of the common books i woodnt be surprised. but lamentation? that was like my first time reading it. all i can say is, God speaks :)

on a different note, i really like the cd by antonio neal. like it a lottt. it's the kinda music i like. it's upbeat, but chilling. i can see myself listening to this in the car, driving in a place where there's nice nature scenery, and have the window rolled down with nice summer breeze. thank u p :) ur awesome.

it was a nice day today :) why? just because :)

Saturday, October 27, 2007

my offering

amy's designs for the water bottled were presented tonight to all the leaders. Did i feel uncomfortable? no, not really because i've decided earlier that i will help her. ff asked me if the designs were good and asked if we should use it for the waterbottle. i told her we can and gave amy a few pointers. ff has asked amy to send the designs to me and let me work on it from now on...but i didnt feel right about it. it's amy's designs, so she should be the one to finish it, not someone else...because she is the designer.

when i prayed about this situation since friday morning, i felt God telling me that He didnt raise me up so that i can take a "position", but to be an encourager and help others who is willing to use this skill to bless ppl and bless the Lord. im gonna do that; i will encourage. i think this is for the best.

as pastor told me before, i need to offer my talent back to Him...and this is a great opportunity to exercise that.
it's been a long tiring day...there were so much going on... at work, family... sigh. as i was having dinner with my dad and bro, my dad brought up a good point..think about the situation from a different perspective. If it wasnt for mom always be on our case...and we get to go to church whenever we want and her being really supportive about it...we may be taking church for granted already. We may think that it's a given instead of treasuring it as a privilege. Also, some parents out there are not christians and is absolutely not letting their children go to church..otherwise they will be disowned. I'm already much better off than that. I can always complain about how mom is stopping me..saying insensitive things...but i can always take it as a training in building up my character..learning how to be patient, be loving, be caring.

im so thankful that u are here for me when im going through the rough. it's so assuring to know u are there by my side, cheering me on, picking me up. i don't know about u..but i feel that when sth like this happens..when situation arises, we are taking it/approaching it better than we had before...we've learned how to support each other. most of the time we tease around and talk about random things in our convos..but i feel that i know u've got my back when things go wrong. i hope u are feelin the same.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

im upset because she ruined my dad's birthday
im upset because she didn't control what she was saying
im upset because she deliberately targeted the argument at me
im upset because she put down my church
im upset because she is in considerate about other ppl's feelings

i don't want to tell her anything, i don't want her to target her argument at me. i don't want to associate to anything from her church.

i am mad..really mad.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

happie birthday to me

it's my bday today! it's kinda nice to have so many wishing me happie birthday on facebook. it's a pleasant surprise :)

The better part of the day was when i got to spend some time with u :) it was nice. i enjoyed it a lot. i wish i didnt have to go so soon, but it's ok, another time. it was nice to be able to giggle with u and give you are "manicure" again. hehe. when i had my head on your chest, i was thinking back to last year on my birthday. You were in HK. i remember going home late that night after going to sheridan seeing a mail for me from HK. it was such a pleasant surprise. Even though you weren't with me, it felt like you were. but today, i have u with me by my side physically, not miles away. it's nice..really nice :) the sunset was really nice this evening too. as i was lying there, i was actually looking out the window, watching it...with you hugging me tight. i really enjoyed that. sigh :)