Monday, November 12, 2007


tonite i overheard my mom telling my dad how she thinks that im "gwai" because i've been helping out. i was a little surprised to hear that...coz i was thinking..."werent i always like that?" but i guess not. then i started thinking how i've been behaving lately. i think it's the attitude. when i think about it now, i feel "joyful" to help around. i feel i prolly do sound happier too.

there was this family that asked if they could come over to shower because there's no water at their house due to construction. after my mom told me about this, i offered to let them use my washroom because i've just cleaned it on sat, so it's clean for them to use. then my mom told me that when she sed the same thing to my bro, he reacted kinda negative about it. then i thought to myself...normally i would have reacted the same way my bro kinda like "why? why my washroom?" but not this time.

i feel good about these two incidents. it makes me feel like im being changed without me even realizing it, which is great! :) i'm happy.

and i hope/pray that bri-anne feel that im different because of God's love. i want to be able to reach out to her. today was a good start with the chocolate. thank youuu for encouraging me to do so. :)

i was reading kinda interesting earlier. here it is:
"If the apostle Paul needed to pray for more boldness, how much more do we? I've always found it very easy to lift up Jesus in the context of church but very hard to find opportunities-and take them-outside. Putting it bluntly, I can be a complete coward! At the age of 16, I used to wear a cross lapel badge on my school uniform. If im honest, i think i was pretty proud of myself; that is, until the day i applied for a saturday job at my local bike store. just before the interview i took the badge off, hiding it away in my pocket-just in case wearing it would ruin my chances of getting the job. in the middle of the interview i suddenly realized what i'd done, and i felt so ashamed. there i sat with the cross in my pocket, wondering how i could ever be embarrassed by what Jesus had done for me.
the only other job i've ever had is working for the church, and of course i had been a lot keener to wear my cross badge for that interview! but isnt that what many of us are like? we'll carry the cross high at church and then hide it away in our pockets when we go out into the rest of life. i learned a lesson that day. i need to line up with the apostle Paul for some more Holy Spirit boldness. if i cant even carry a little cross lapel badge, how on earth am i going to manage a real one?"

i was thinking to i hide my cross? it's soooo much easier to hide it than to show it. but why is it so hard? i mean...ppl can feel so strongly about certain things and not be ashamed of it...but why are we when there's nothing wrong with it? shouldnt it be the other way around? an example i thought of just now is...i remember back in high school, ppl would talk and "share" about the different ways to cheat on a test. that's such a shameful thing! but .... it's so easy to talk about it with other ppl and not feel "bad" about it. u know what i mean? i dont know..for myself..i feel shy about telling other ppl about my faith...hmm that's sth to think about.

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