Wednesday, October 31, 2007

halloween...most of the ppl from work were all dressed up. i've decided not to celebrate and going even more "extreme"-i fasted from my normal full course meal. it wasnt easy staying in the studio, while the whole studio was partying up. i felt very uncomfortable, outcast, leftout. but i felt that i should stay and take a stand..and i did.

i feel tired, not exactly physically... but i feel drained... i guess coz there was a lot going on?

im kinda looking forward to tm, coz it'll be my last day of work for the week! no work on fridayyy..wooowhooo.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

my ride to work

it was a longgggg morning. ttc sucks. like seriously. by the time i got to work today was already 9:30..and i had to post things on FTP, listen to voice mail, talk to the account manager, this and that...i felt so disoriented because what i had planned to do were all pushed back. I don't like it when that happens. But despite all that, it was nice to get a call from you asking me if everything was ok. it was a nice got me smiling to hear your voice on the other end of the receiver.

a lot of my colleagues are talking about/busy getting ready for their halloween costume for tm's party. When they ask me if im dressing up, i told them im not and told them i choose not to because of my religion. it may seem like an easy thing to say..but it's not really, when the party is gonna be tm during lunch. Almost everyone's gonna dress up because Halloween's always been a huge thing here at Anthem. What am i gonna do tm during lunch? im not so sure yet. should i work through it? join them for lunch since it's in the studio but not dress up? step out during lunch? i don't know. What i know is im not gonna be celebrating it.

Monday, October 29, 2007

our Love

baby, listen to my heart
and the words that live within
we know what we have is real
like the presence of the wind
we lasted through the good
and bad times, sad times
even though we could have let go
we stayed close
we lasted through the good
and bad times, sad times
through patience we have been able to see that our love

our love
what we have
is nothing but the good life baby
nothing but the good life baby

lady after all these years
i'm still ravished by your love
mistakes i've made for years
still you cover me with love

i just wanna stay so close
wrap your arms around me
i don't wanna let you go
let your love surround me
i just wanna stay so close
wrap your arms around me
i dont wanna let you go
i dont wanna let you go

Sunday, October 28, 2007

lets face it's such a simple concept..but it took a while to sink in. The cure for my fears is to face it. The worse i feel about something, the more i should embrace it and make the situation better. the more i dislike a person, the most i should make an effort to be friend him/her. it's awkward, it's tiring, but i believe i will be better one step at a time.

it's true that it's my character that will imprint onto ppl's mind when it's time for me to go. What kind of character do i have? i was thinking about christmas awards that we do every year. each year i'd get sth that defines me on the im most fashionable, best artist. i know it's a silly award and shouldnt use that to define who i am, but it would be a nice change if im not voted for those things, but ppl do see that i am loving and caring.

today for the 10am meeting, the congregation (including me) was seated down at our pews and waited on the Lord. Just a quiet time between God and ourselves. as i was sitting there, i felt that i should read lamentation. i didnt know where, so i just started reading from chapter 1. after a little bit, pastor asked the worship to get ready. as i was sittin there by the piano, guess where pastor shared from? lamentation chapter 3. i was like :O?!?!? lamentation??? coz i mean..if it's from matthew or one of the common books i woodnt be surprised. but lamentation? that was like my first time reading it. all i can say is, God speaks :)

on a different note, i really like the cd by antonio neal. like it a lottt. it's the kinda music i like. it's upbeat, but chilling. i can see myself listening to this in the car, driving in a place where there's nice nature scenery, and have the window rolled down with nice summer breeze. thank u p :) ur awesome.

it was a nice day today :) why? just because :)

Saturday, October 27, 2007

my offering

amy's designs for the water bottled were presented tonight to all the leaders. Did i feel uncomfortable? no, not really because i've decided earlier that i will help her. ff asked me if the designs were good and asked if we should use it for the waterbottle. i told her we can and gave amy a few pointers. ff has asked amy to send the designs to me and let me work on it from now on...but i didnt feel right about it. it's amy's designs, so she should be the one to finish it, not someone else...because she is the designer.

when i prayed about this situation since friday morning, i felt God telling me that He didnt raise me up so that i can take a "position", but to be an encourager and help others who is willing to use this skill to bless ppl and bless the Lord. im gonna do that; i will encourage. i think this is for the best.

as pastor told me before, i need to offer my talent back to Him...and this is a great opportunity to exercise that.
it's been a long tiring day...there were so much going on... at work, family... sigh. as i was having dinner with my dad and bro, my dad brought up a good point..think about the situation from a different perspective. If it wasnt for mom always be on our case...and we get to go to church whenever we want and her being really supportive about it...we may be taking church for granted already. We may think that it's a given instead of treasuring it as a privilege. Also, some parents out there are not christians and is absolutely not letting their children go to church..otherwise they will be disowned. I'm already much better off than that. I can always complain about how mom is stopping me..saying insensitive things...but i can always take it as a training in building up my character..learning how to be patient, be loving, be caring.

im so thankful that u are here for me when im going through the rough. it's so assuring to know u are there by my side, cheering me on, picking me up. i don't know about u..but i feel that when sth like this happens..when situation arises, we are taking it/approaching it better than we had before...we've learned how to support each other. most of the time we tease around and talk about random things in our convos..but i feel that i know u've got my back when things go wrong. i hope u are feelin the same.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

im upset because she ruined my dad's birthday
im upset because she didn't control what she was saying
im upset because she deliberately targeted the argument at me
im upset because she put down my church
im upset because she is in considerate about other ppl's feelings

i don't want to tell her anything, i don't want her to target her argument at me. i don't want to associate to anything from her church.

i am mad..really mad.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

happie birthday to me

it's my bday today! it's kinda nice to have so many wishing me happie birthday on facebook. it's a pleasant surprise :)

The better part of the day was when i got to spend some time with u :) it was nice. i enjoyed it a lot. i wish i didnt have to go so soon, but it's ok, another time. it was nice to be able to giggle with u and give you are "manicure" again. hehe. when i had my head on your chest, i was thinking back to last year on my birthday. You were in HK. i remember going home late that night after going to sheridan seeing a mail for me from HK. it was such a pleasant surprise. Even though you weren't with me, it felt like you were. but today, i have u with me by my side physically, not miles away. it's nice..really nice :) the sunset was really nice this evening too. as i was lying there, i was actually looking out the window, watching it...with you hugging me tight. i really enjoyed that. sigh :)